Stockholm Syndrome and Parallel Identities: The Dance of Matter and Antimatter

Vladimir Nemet 

“Throughout his life a person will experience himself only as long as, at each stage in his life, he experiences certain representatives of his human surroundings as joyfully responding to him, as being silently present, and able to grasp his inner life more or less accurately, so that their responses allow him to grasp their inner life when his is in need of such sustenance.”

— H. Kohut, How Does Analysis Cure?

Introduction

Stockholm syndrome has long been a riddle, a shadowed dance in the corridors of the human psyche. Traditionally, it is described as a paradox in which a person under threat develops attachment to, or even identification with, the aggressor. It is often framed as survival reflex, a defensive adaptation, or an evolutionary echo meant to preserve life. Yet these interpretations, while useful, leave the deeper choreography of identity untouched.

This article explores Stockholm syndrome through the lens of parallel identities and phenomenology, examining three distinct forms in which the syndrome manifests: familial abuse and neglect, religious devotion, and hypnosis. In each case, the rhythm between I and You is disrupted, explaining the frozen dynamics of matter and antimatter, and revealing how identity becomes suspended when reflection and mirroring are absent.

Parallel Identities

The theory of parallel identities illuminates the hidden dance of the psyche. Within every subject exist two identical yet opposing perspectives, I and You. Neither is weaker or passive; both are structured equally, like matter and antimatter, reflecting each other perfectly yet moving in opposite directions. This defines the very nature of the bond between I and Not-I.

The essence of their difference lies not in power but in content. When the Other fills You with warmth, trust, and acknowledgment, it becomes a luminous space, a mirror of presence and support. When the Other fills You with threat, judgment, or neglect, it darkens, and the dance falters. Identity unfolds not as static substance but as a rhythm of mirroring, a perpetual oscillation of reflection, reciprocity, and subtle resonance.

From infancy, the rhythm is written in the folds of care and response. A child whose caregiver occupies a supportive You perceives a luminous dance, a continuity of reflection that secures the self. A child whose caregiver embodies a destructive You perceives darkness within the rhythm; the dance falters, and identity feels trapped. The child does not lose I because it is weak, but because the oscillation, the mirroring between I and You, collapses under the weight of threat.

In everyday life, this rhythm manifests in subtle gestures: the fleeting awareness of thought, the resonance of another’s gaze, the soft echo of empathy. It is a dance without choreography, yet structured by reflection. Anger, joy, sorrow, and vitality circulate like currents between matter and antimatter, sustaining the coherence of the self. Fixation in one perspective, as when the rhythm falters, dims this energy and quiets the dance.

Stockholm Syndrome

Stockholm syndrome reveals the frozen moment when the rhythm between I and You collapses. The aggressor’s You fills the field, and I withdraws, suspended in shadow. This is not weakness; it is the inevitable result of the impossibility of maintaining reflection under relentless threat. The subject loses the capacity for anger, initiative, or presence; the You that was once a reflective mirror is now a mirror of coercion, saturating every internal moment.

Paradoxically, the compulsion to inhabit You emerges because the rhythm is exhausted. The subject surrenders to You to survive, but this surrender freezes the dance rather than liberates it. The same dynamic occurs in adult relationships dominated by coercion or control, where You fills the field, I is silent, and the luminous oscillation of matter and antimatter dims.

Familial Abuse and Neglect: The Intimate Stockholm Syndrome

Chronic abuse and neglect within the family reveal a deeply ingrained form of Stockholm syndrome. A child dependent on caregivers for safety, sustenance, and emotional regulation faces a relentless dilemma: the very You responsible for protection and nurturance is also the source of threat or deprivation. In this paradox, I cannot assert itself freely; the oscillation between I and You falters, and the child is forced into internal submission.

To survive, the child must idealize the abusive or neglectful You. This idealization is not a fantasy of omnipotence but a necessary adaptation: without reverence for the caregiver, the child risks psychic disintegration or physical harm. The relational field becomes a space in which surrender dominates, oscillation is suspended, and energy flows one-way—from I toward the unresponsive or punitive You. Presence, initiative, and anger are muted; the luminous rhythm of matter and antimatter is dimmed.

Phenomenologically, such children inhabit a world where the caregiver cannot function as a reflective mirror. Feedback is inconsistent or absent, acknowledgment is rare, and relational misattunements go unrepaired. The child’s attachment is therefore enforced not by love alone but by necessity, fear, and survival. The result is an internalization of the coercive You, a frozen relational pattern that mirrors the dynamics observed in Stockholm syndrome: idealization replaces reciprocity, and loyalty overrides self-assertion.

This dynamic demonstrates how familial abuse is not merely a relational pathology but a developmental architecture of survival. The child cannot leave the caregiver without risking collapse, yet cannot fully inhabit the field of I without the reflective support of a responsive You. The oscillation is suspended, the dance of matter and antimatter is interrupted, and identity is shaped within the frozen shadow of unmirrored dependence.

Religion as a Frozen You: The Mirror That Cannot Reflect

Religion introduces a specific dynamic within the architecture of parallel identities. While healthy relationships allow a rhythm between I and You—a rhythm in which You returns warmth, acknowledgment, and mirroring—the religious relation interrupts this rhythm. God, as the absolute Other, does not provide feedback. God does not mirror. God does not respond. In this sense, the religious You is always fixed, immutable, and unavailable for dialogue.

The believer therefore cannot experience God as a selfobject in Kohut’s sense. A selfobject must provide reflection, affirmation, and emotional presence. The religious object, however, remains silent. It is precisely this silence that demands worship: the believer must orient toward the perfect You because there is no responsive I. This creates a structure in which You is absolutized, while I is necessarily suppressed.

Psychologically, this relationship follows a pattern analogous to the Stockholm syndrome. When You cannot reflect I, the subject begins to identify with the unresponsive or inaccessible You because survival, meaning, or belonging depends on it. Worship becomes a substitute for mirroring, and obedience a substitute for a relational exchange. Phenomenologically, the subject remains trapped in a monologue toward a You that never becomes a dialogue.

Hypnosis and the Flow of Parallel Identities

Just as religion can freeze You in silence, hypnosis illuminates the same rhythm from another angle. During a trance, You may fill the internal space while I is suspended, unmirrored, and unreflected—mirroring the frozen dynamics of Stockholm syndrome. The oscillation between matter and antimatter halts; energy dims; presence is withheld. Feedback is absent, reflection is silent, and the subject inhabits a space in which surrender dominates, yet the experience is contained and temporary.

The distinction lies not in the suspension itself, but in its reversibility. Unlike the coercion of Stockholm syndrome, hypnosis allows the subject to eventually reclaim I and reestablish the rhythm of reflection. Phenomenologically, both reveal the essential truth: without a responsive You, energy stagnates, identity orients toward a silent other, and the luminous dance falters.

Conclusion

Stockholm syndrome, familial abuse, chronic neglect, religious devotion, and hypnosis all reveal the essential architecture of the human psyche. Identity is not a fixed substance but a dance of parallel perspectives, I and You, matter and antimatter, eternally mirrored. When one perspective dominates, the dance freezes, and presence dims.

Understanding this dynamic allows the restoration of rhythm, the return of energy, autonomy, and the capacity to express anger. You becomes a reflective, supportive space; I reclaims its luminous presence. Identity is no longer trapped in surrender or coercion but flows through the oscillation of identical perspectives, a dance of light and shadow, of matter and antimatter, always mirrored, always in motion, always alive.

 Literature 

• Buber, M. (1923). Ich und Du [I and Thou]. Tübingen: Mohr Siebeck.
• Kohut, H. (1984). How Does Analysis Cure? Chicago: University of Chicago Press.
• Levinas, E. (1969). Totality and Infinity: An Essay on Exteriority. Pittsburgh: Duquesne University Press.
• Tronick, E. (1978). The Infant’s Response to the Still-Face Paradigm: Social Interaction and the Development of Affect Regulation.
• Vladimir Nemet (2025). New Psychoanalysis and Parallel Identities. https://www.academia.edu/129607071/NEW_PSYCHOANALYSIS_AND_PARALLEL_IDENTITIES